Why is Communication Important in a Marriage

Distance between two people, whether they are married, friends, or acquaintances, doesn’t happen overnight. There never is just one reason why a couple, who was once madly in love with one another, would create mountains of gaps between one another. When a relationship begins, it can easily thrive on physical attraction and the excitement of being with someone special. As the bond between a couple grows, their attraction quickly changes into the initial stages of love, building a foundation of trust, and wanting to be with one another for a stronger, happier future. When a couple decides to marry, their love for one another takes on a different meaning and sustains itself on trust, honesty, and commitment.

But as the years pass by, with increased amounts of stress and responsibilities that our lives demand, somewhere down the line, being there for one another seems to get lost. Communicating with each other feels like a chore that you would rather skip; whether it is after an argument, over some misunderstandings, or even sharing certain details of your lives. Things seem to change and nothing is the same again. Communication gap doesn’t just happen overnight and it certainly doesn’t take just one incident to make it stare at you right in the face. Gradually, with time and suppressed feelings, a couple can easily fall prey to not communicating, not sharing any part of their hearts and souls with their better halves. We’ve all heard people say, “The key to a happy and successful life is communication”. But why is communication so important for a marriage to work? Can we ever find the answer to this relentless question?

Importance of Communication in a Marriage

How important is it? What can be the effects of not communicating and sharing with your spouse? Do couples actually drift apart without opening up to one another and letting each other know their true selves? Can lack of communication in marriage be crucial enough to break up a family? Why don’t we try to find out the answers to these questions in the rest of the article.

Communication Keeps a Couple Closer than they Think
How can someone know another individual for who they really are? We don’t get premonitions or have the power to read other people’s minds. By sharing our life’s stories and incidents, we can be sure to intimately involve ourselves with someone. Same goes in a marriage. More than just having physical contact, the emotional connection is also important. When we have shared small instances from our lives, no matter what it is (something like wanting to bake cookies at home, going out for a long drive, wishing to paint the walls together), any kind of openness will bring a couple together and make them feel as one. When you know what is going on in your spouse’s mind and heart, you can resolve issues more quickly and effectively.

Assumptions and Misunderstandings won’t Creep In
It is a natural that when your spouse isn’t sharing a particular information with you, our mind tends to wander off and think of the worse. When a couple talks to one another without any inhibitions, they eliminate the negativeness out of their lives and keep misunderstandings at bay. After knowing each others’ likes, dislikes, opinions, beliefs, wants, and desires in life, you two made the decision to see this marriage through. So what is stopping you now? Opening your heart to someone you love should be looked upon as a blessing because you know that there is at least one person in your life who accepts you for who you are. Keeping a verbal gap between you two will only bring in disappointment and insecurity.

Lack of Communication can Lead Towards Infidelity
Let’s look at our question on communication from a different angle. What does not communicating with someone lead to? When your spouse doesn’t share things with you, he/she isn’t sharing his/her life. Keeping things to yourself, avoiding any major conversations or arguments, wanting to be alone rather than spend time together, all these factors play a major role in separating a couple and breaking their bond. This may not be the case with all the couples, but sometimes, not being emotionally connected with your spouse might give you ideas of making this connection with someone else. No matter how much a person can try to stop themselves from taking this path, when the heart isn’t fulfilled with its own needs, it tries to satisfy it elsewhere.

Good Communication Means you Respect your Spouse Enough to be Honest
Many a time, when we don’t wish to talk to our spouse, we tend to make up some stories and end the conversation right then and there. This may work in your favor once or twice, but over the course of time, you might just want to get out of any situation with making up lies. When there is nothing to hide from your spouse, what is the need to bring in false information and ruin your chances of having a beautiful life with someone. Initially, it may seem innocent to keep certain things from your spouse, but this behavior only highlights the fact that you don’t respect your spouse and be honest with him/her. You owe it to him/her to let in on what is going in your life, your mind, and how can you both handle the situations and move forward.

Communication is a Two-way Street with No Red Lights
Talking to someone doesn’t end at you sharing what was on your mind (anger, frustration, news) and go your separate ways. To communicate means being there for one another whenever your spouse needs you and emotionally comforting him/her. Often times, couples feel that sharing means saying what they want and leaving the room. In fact, when you open yourself to your spouse, you also open the possibility of receiving information as well. In a marriage, or life in general, we all look towards being needed, wanted by someone. And when a couple, who is married is there for each other, no problems are tough enough, no arguments are important enough to break them apart.

So I ask you again, “Why is communication an important factor in a marriage”. For a couple, the answer to this question will be different because we all have unique lives, with different issues. How you handle each situation is up to you. And the most important thing is, are you walking the path of life alone, or keeping your promise to be by his/her side forever?

Does Age Difference in Marriage Matter?

The practice of men preferring to marry younger women and women preferring older men has been in existence since time immemorial―since the concept of matrimonial alliance itself came into existence in most likelihood. What has changed over the years though, is the age difference between husband and wife. Whether this difference in age actually affects a person’s marriage or not, has become one of the most debated questions in recent times.

An Overview

A look at the statistical data compiled over the last century or so, suggests that the age difference in a matrimonial alliance has been constantly changing owing to several underlying factors. It came down from 29 years for men and 26 for women at the beginning of the 20th century to 26 for men and 23 for women by the mid-20th century. The drastic fall was attributed to the emergence of nuclear families in the society.

By the end of the 20th century, though, the difference was back to what it was in the beginning. This reversal was attributed to several factors, including education, women becoming more and more independent, better contraception, etc. Come today, things have changed considerably, as both men and women are giving their career first priority, thus making marriage take a back seat.

Does Age Difference Really Matter in a Marriage?

Of late, new trends have started to emerge suggesting a drastic age difference in married couples; at times, as much as 15 years. This is aptly reflected in the rising number of celebrity couples who are getting into matrimonial alliances despite the significant difference in their age. If we are to go by the age-old adage, love triumphs everything, we are safe to assume that the difference in age doesn’t really matter in a marriage; not even when the wife is older, in which case the difference usually comes across as inflated.

On the flip side, however, it can result in a wide range of marital problems. Some of the most common problems include lack of understanding, infidelity, sex drive disparity, financial problems, etc. A closer look and one would realize that all these problems are related to each other, either directly or indirectly. For instance, generation gap can result in lack of understanding between the two partners and this, in turn, may lead either one of them trying to find solace with a third person, thus leading to infidelity.

So What Should be the Ideal Difference?

Ideally, the age difference between two people getting into a matrimonial alliance should be somewhere between 3 – 5 years. One has to take into consideration the fact that men attain maturity late as compared to women, which implies that men need more time to get accustomed to the responsibilities associated with a family. Marrying late also gives men enough time to put their career on the right track. Of late, this has become all the more important as women folk seem to prefer well-settled men over those who are yet to make a comfortable living.

Even women nowadays seem to prefer getting married late so that they get enough time to fulfill their ambitions on the career front. However, both men and women need to be careful about this, as opting for marriage too late can affect the biological cycle and result in medical complications when planning children in the future.

While there do exist examples of happily married couples with a significant age difference, they are very few, and therefore, the ideal age difference―as they say―should be no more than 3 – 5 years. Interestingly, the same rule applies in a situation where a woman marries a man who is younger to her. In the end, however, these are mere numbers, and for make any marriage work, what the couple needs is to put in genuine efforts.